Research has indicated over half of those who'll get married will probably not be sleeping together or on the same bed a few years after marriage. Marriage faces all manner of challenges, particularly if one decides to look beyond into the hands of another and think they'll never be caught. However, what many don't realize is that the most challenging of experiences in this solemn union are out of ignorance and unawareness. A little bit of pre-marriage preparation and understanding can go a long way to ensuring your union has staying power.
Lots of people end up entering marriage with all manner of misconceptions and tough stands. In the process they find themselves in uncharted waters hard to navigate. The paradoxical realities and unique beauty that defines marriage could be lost very easily in such a state.
If you aren't yet married, you might want to eliminate that know-it all mentality and embrace the fact that there're people who know better than you and their counsel would be very helpful. Prior to going down the isle you might want to think about a number of things.
Here are a number of pre-marrige facts and tips to start you off on the right track:
Happily ever after is for Disney
If you're thinking because you love her so much or him and over all your dating you have had no problem or struggle, marriage bliss and a happily ever after life is what awaits you, chances are you grew up feeding on Disney fairytales. Of course marriage isn't happily never after but it has its ups and downs. For instance, you'll probably be annoyed with your spouse time and again but you'll also find lots of ways of coming together and enjoying your companion in more ways than one. Your man will be stubborn or even a tad selfish when you want to be emotionally challenged.
Marriage is not always about happiness but a chance to dig deep down in the lives of two human beings and pull out those dysfunctions right on the surface and deal with them, burning them in the openness of reality where both the partners will begin to grow. Conflicts in marriage will then become wonderful gifts that bring two together to live a fulfilling and more satisfying life.
Giving more to marriage gets you even more
In marriage there are all kinds of lows and highs; sometimes they can be very confusing. However, these highs and lows need to be tamed and made sense of before you get into the union. The truth is if your wife or husband is not your priority and your main attention, all areas of your marriage life will be strained. On the other hand, if your husband or wife is a priority and number one in all areas, every part of your life will benefit a lot. If you give your all to your job because it pays the bills and gets you a cool ride you will end up with a stable house but the most miserable spouse.
In marriage you'll have to intentionally put your spouse first above anything else; track this fact and you'll discover how fulfilling your union will be. The truth is if you are not willing to put her or him first over everything else just postpone the marriage or let them go. The more you give into your spouse the more the individual feels genuinely valued and she or he will advocate that you invest even much more time into your work.
Your career will never appear like a competitor when it comes to your attention and she or he will probably want to partner with you in it. A spouse who is treated as the center of the attention will make you a champion. It's a sacrifice that pays up well.
Your marriage will change the world if done right
If you are thinking about global warming and stopping it, fighting for the polar bears or stopping wars and preaching love you might wait a bit longer before you change anything in this world. On the other hand, marriage if done right, can change the significant part of the world.
After countless years of research a biological researcher realized that the most important thing any man can do is to simply go and love his wife more than ever before; the more the wife is loved the healthier a marriage becomes, creating that critical stability in the family and giving children some important level of security most important in various developmental processes. The research has indicated great marriages always make great parents.
Seek premarital counsel
In the days of arranged marriages, a wiser, older and experienced individual looked for a suitor who would be a wonderful partner decades down the line. While you don't really need to have someone arrange your life and love life in a certain way, you might want to make the most of individuals from aunts, friends and others who have decades of partnership in a marriage to show for it.
It's also clear with marriage counseling before saying 'I do' you'll gain lots of foresight. Before you get married you are probably in love and those things that are the component of a marriage are really not on the menu for now. However, through good counsel you can look at them and learn a lot before you get married and see misunderstandings start right away.
Deal with interfaith issues
Even as you seek counsel and talk about various things in life don't leave the issue of faith, particularly if you are planning to worship in the same place. There are many areas where visions diverge and align between the two of you and need to be examined critically. This way the visions will naturally merge into a single working faith that builds the two of you.
In-laws must be understood
You are not Adam or Eve, so there is definitely an in-law somewhere. If the parents are not there, siblings will materialize. It's important to always remember you'll not be marrying the man or woman you're dating only but joining another family with yours. Deal with any issue that could turn out to be a battlefront concerning in-laws, particularly the level of control and what would happen if they portend a challenge in your marriage.
Above all, seeking premarital counseling is a better alternative to post-marital divorces, separations, fights and misunderstandings.