Dealing with Feuding Relatives at Your Wedding

With careful planning, a bride can avoid unpleasant situations that would take away from the beauty of her wedding day. The bride and her mother should sit down and discuss any problems in the family and how they should be handled.

A wedding planner can be very helpful, making sure that feuding relatives are seated apart at the wedding and reception. She can handle problems that might occur at the bridal shower and rehearsal.

Remember that you can hire a wedding planner to budget and supervise the entire event, or just to coordinate the events on your wedding day. If you cannot afford this service, perhaps a mature friend (not in your wedding party) can act as a "designated" wedding planner.

Sometimes the bride will need to meet individually with family members before the wedding to address their concerns. She will need to remain "centered" and try not to get defensive if the conversation becomes difficult.

Here are some tips on how to handle these conversations:

  • Give your guest the opportunity to get concerns off his/her chest. Listen calmly and sympathetically, without interrupting. If the person is a compulsive talker, use every conversational gap to guide the conversation back to the origin concern.
  • Avoid emotive words. If your guest is rehashing old family gossip, problems and grudges, politely inform them that the matter at hand is their comfort at your wedding.
  • Give them useful information that will address their concerns. Tell them that everyone is invited to the bridal shower, but you will not be offended if they decline to attend because of another guest.
  • When the guest hears that you are listening, he/she appreciates your interest, and your relationship develops. This may help you with future family problems.
  • If the guest remains angry, remember that you do not have to make an angry person into a nice person. Use courteous words and phrases, and thank them for sharing this special day.

The savvy bride will address any family issues before the wedding day. Her guests will be relaxed and comfortable, enjoying this celebration with hearts full of love.